Spring Break - Our First Holiday Without Dad

I am back from 10 days on the road with the kids to visit my mom who lives 13 hours away.  I have made this trip once before without Dad so I felt like a pro.  I made sure the car was tuned up, tires rotated, oil changed, and the gas tank was full.  I filled the empty front seat with bottled water and various treats and goodies for the kids and me.  One of the jobs my husband always handled wonderfully was loading lots of stuff into the trunk.  I must admit that there is an art to this task and I am slowly mastering it.  I learned that pushing and kicking works, but a curse word or two helps also. 

I doled out granola bars, carrot and celery sticks, water and then word find books and pens, magazines and a bag for the garbage in the first 10 minutes of the drive.  45 minutes into the drive I had to stop to use the washroom.  Then we sailed along for an hour or so and hit a snow squall that was comparable to a blizzard with very limited visibility.  But, you see, I live my charmed life by living the suggestions laid out in the book The Secret by Rhonda Byrne http://www.thesecret.tv/.  I know that the blizzard was there for a good reason.  So I slowed down and looked out for the reason.  We slowly drove through the blizzard and got back onto dry highway.  Up ahead I see flashing lights and we are made to exit the highway and find our own detour.  My GPS quickly recalculates and tells me to turn left which is the opposite of the 20 other cars in our pack.  But I do as I'm told.  The road we ended up on seemed like a dirt road, but I;m not sure since the snow was so deep I could hardly find the road most of the time.  I drove slowly and looked around at the beautiful farms and the lovely farm houses that I would not have gotten to see if this diversion had not arisen.  I happily drove by barns and tractors and was grateful for these folks that raise the food we need to stay healthy.  Finally we were able to get back on the road.  The only thing I could come up with was that the blizzard slowed us down so we weren't in the middle of the wreck that happened in front of us.  I'm fine with that.  If this had happened a few years ago there would have been a very unhappy testosterone filled specimen that would have been very cranky because our schedule was just disrupted and we are going to be late.  I never could figure out what we were going to be late for since we were just going to a hotel to spend the night along the route.  If the kids get to swim for an hour or so that's great, but they don't need 4 hours of swimming and it's not worth getting so crusty over....  So, my experience was full of serenity; until I needed to pee!  Luckily we found a washroom close by and were able to once again get on our way.  Other than the "sleeping" animals that we saw along the highway, everything went smoothly.  My son asked if I'd please stop drinking water so we wouldn't have to stop every 15 minutes to go to the bathroom.  I thought this was a reasonable request.

The second day on the road was fairly uneventful and we made it to our destination.  The kids hugged Nana, played with the dog and then announced they were bored and hungry :)  So I headed off to the grocery store, realizing as I went that this was one of the things my husband would do as soon as we arrived at my Mom's house.  But, I thoroughly enjoyed picking out foods that we can not get back home and looking through all the selections of items and realized that I had been missing out on this all along! 

Below are some of the highlights of our trip:

Day 3

WDVX Radio station - Hear live bluegrass music that's live on the air!  It's a great way for your kids to see live music in the middle of the day. http://www.wdvx.com/programs/blueplate.html

Market Square Mall - Visit local shops looking for new treasures.  http://knoxvillemarketsquare.com/

The Downtown Grill and Brewery - Lunch  http://www.downtownbrewery.com/

Day 4

Chuck E Cheese - Great place to take the kids!  Salad bar was great.  Pizza was good.  100 tokens take 16 minutes and 7 seconds to be used!  $50 later, more tokens were drank and it was only 1pm!  http://www.chuckecheese.com/

The Mall - You know your kids are growing up when they start shopping in the stores in the mall you remember.  Dragging my kids out of the mall seemed harder than my mom had to work to get me to leave. http://www.simon.com/mall/?id=202

Day 5

Wonderworks in Pigeon Forge - This place is amazing!  We spent 5 hours looking at all the exhibits and cool interactive areas.  My son felt what it was like to be in hurricane force winds.  There was an earthquake simulator.  My kids climbed a rock wall.  This place is worth every penny!  http://www.wonderworkstn.com/

Day 6

The Mass General Store - This is a store that everyone needs to see!  The kids and adults like it just the same.  You can't help going back in time when you look through the barrels of candy that we purchased when we were kids!  The relic toys are a treat and to see our children want one of them is a thrill.  http://www.mastgeneralstore.com/

Knoxville Museum of Art - Me and the kids enjoyed the museum and I was especially thrilled to see the Xiaoze Xie Amplified Moments Exhibit http://www.knoxart.org/exhibitions/Xiaoze-Xie/index.html

McKay Used Books - AMAZING!  Me and the kids had a blast looking at all the books on tape, CD's, movies, and games.   http://www.mckaybooks.com/

Day 7  was spent preparing for my grandfather's 95th birthday celebration!  We purchased the bread for the party at Panera Bread and ate lunch there, since it was lunch time and the kids were, yet again, starved.  Everything was wonderful, including the cinnamon roll that I ate that was as big around as my HEAD http://www.panerabread.com/

Day 8 - Papaw's party!  We worked all day, but the party went well.  The kids played in my Papaw's huge yard and had a blast.  I saw many relatives that I haven't seen since I was a small child.  It was a great event.

Then we headed back home on days 9 and 10.

Some observations learned on this trip:

• I can load the trunk so that it closes if I try all the possible combinations of suitcases and no, it does not matter how long this process takes
• I should not drink liquid in the car when on a 7 hour leg of a trip.
• If I don't drink water for days on end other things start to stop up and create a whole new set of issues.
• You can eat at Cracker Barrel for breakfast, lunch and dinner!
• I need a detox program for coming off drinking sweet tea for 10 days straight!
• I am 5 pounds heavier than when I left 10 days ago....
• I can do anything!

On the way  home Dad texted us to see if we were on our way; we'd kept in touch the whole trip.  I texted back our ETA.  He responded that he misses the kids!  I responded that I needed a break!

I am now at the townhouse, listening to the silence.  I plan to have a hot bath and go to bed at 7pm.  I will read for a while but may fall asleep and the best part is that there's no one here to stop me!!! 

Week 6 - Update On The Kids

It's week 6 and we are all settling into our routine nicely.  The kids have more friends and interaction with friends in our new neighborhood than ever before.  We have already had numerous sleepovers at the nest and my daughter slept over at a new friend's house as well.  Both have jumped into school activities with much enthusiasm.  My son has a girl friend now as well which is keeping him very happy and focused.  Both seem to be doing well in school and were able to pick up where their last school left off.  We are headed out for a week's vacation for March Break!  A trip to see Nana and Papa is greatly anticipated.  This will not be my first trip alone with the kids, so I am not worried in the least. 

Dad introduced them to a new love interest of his and the kids seem pleased that he is dating.  They were concerned at first that I would be mad, but once I assured them that I was very happy for daddy and wanted him to be happy, they seemed fine.  I also advised the children that I would be going on a date with a friend and they were fine with that too. 

I think they feed off our reactions to things.  If I were crying or mad or hurt, then they would feel that way.  But Mom and Dad are strong and positive and moving forward and they are going with it.  The worst thing we could do is be mean to each other in front of the kids or say bad things about each other to the kids.  We have family dinners every Wednesday night and the meals are pleasant and used to catch up on the week's events. Mom and Dad are able to chat easily and maintain a friendly atmosphere which is perfect for the kids.  In private, we have discussed each other's "relationships" and made sure we each understand where we are in the process so we can listen to the kids and work through any issues or questions that may arise. 

The kids are our #1 focus.  It's working!  I think the key to our success is the fact that our marriage was really over.  We were living like room mates.  And while this was a decent situation it was showing our children that it's o.k. to be in a loveless marriage.  It is not o.k. to live for years in a loveless marriage.  We need to live life to the fullest and not settle for anything less!  Our children will survive and will be better people for it.  I want my children to know that it's o.k. to make life changes in order to achieve complete happiness! 

Week 5 Realizations

It's the end of week 5 and I found out some things this week!  First, I found out that I really can get to the gym every other day.  I really enjoy working out, the equipment is easy to use and the programs are designed to get you in and out quickly (Good Life Fitness Clubs are awesome).  I can complete my workout in 1 hour and know I am getting results.  I feel stronger, have more energy, sleep better and feel better.  I also found out that I really can DO ANYTHING I set my mind to. 

One of the things my husband always did in our homes was install the blinds.  This week I decided to purchase the blinds (Home Depot cuts the blinds while you wait) for the entire upstairs of "the nest" and install them myself.  Here are some observations;

• Power drills are VERY POWERFUL
• You need to predrill holes for screws
• Screws included in blind packaging are CRAP (could be the powerful drill too)
• Removing screws when you mess up is difficult
• 6 trips to the hardware store is not odd
• A bigger tool box is going to be required

As you can see, installing the blinds was a challenge, but I did it and am very proud to see the results.  My daughter and I even painted the trim which had it own challenges but the result is a fresh look in the main bath.  We still have the walls to do, but that will take some time and more tools.  Removing the towel bar and tissue paper holder will result in holes in the wall which brings up a whole other project.  I am ready, I just need the time.  The balance of the blinds still need to be installed, but now I am a pro (and have a new cordless drill) and will work on these as time permits. 

This week created challenges but I stayed positive, asked for advice, purchased tools I'll use for years, and spent quality time working a project with my daughter!  I learned valuable lessons, like always predrill holes before inserting screws and power drills can hurt you, that I will carry with my throughout life.